Wesley John
1968-2017
(An intimate retrospective by Leo Hill)
“He is Jason and Hercules and Perseus---a figure so strong and beautiful and heroic that the blood of the gods must flow through him, because how else could a being so fine exist in this world?”
-J. Kenner (from her novel Release Me)
The quote from J. Kenner’s erotic and emotionally charged romantic novel (as unlikely as it seems) perfectly captures the essence that is Wesley John. After all, eroticism and romanticism are realities that essentially capture “passion”- a primal fire that embodies the deepest and fullest experience of life. Kenner’s quote was a figurative expression meant to evoke images of the Titan- a primordial race of legendary and mythological giant-gods rooted in Greek and Roman mythology. To refer to one as a “Titan” is to characterize the impact of one’s life. Passion is what made Wesley John a Titan- in death, in life, and in his transcendent presence.
Passion was and is the sum total of Wesley John’s character and identity. This passion fueled the creation of his 9-year chopper-biker persona “Vicious Vega” and his fire-painted bike: that thunder-striking “Black Dragon”. It was this very same tandem who both met a tragic and fatal end that late afternoon of November 2017 in an unfortunate and violent vehicular accident. This passion for savoring life and play earlier in his life pushed a 7-year old Wes off a second-story stairway balcony plummeting headfirst to a ground covered with broken shards of concrete blocks. By a fortunate twist of fate he survived the fall, the massive loss of blood, and the two punctures on the top of his head. But it was an ominous sign of what was to come. The fates weren’t so kind that November afternoon.
Born on the Philippine islands in October 1968 to godly and religious parents (a minister and a teacher) this Titan became earth-bound to a world of religious and spiritual Christian Evangelicalism (with some fundamentalist streaks) suffused with love, fervor, authenticity, and yes- passion! This youngling’s thirst for art, music, sports, and adventure was openly nurtured and encouraged early on. But it was also tempered with deep and strong family, moral, and spiritual values. Wesley John flourished in this rarified air as a reluctant young phenom: low-key and quiet those early years yet passionately driven to excel as an academic achiever, an artist, a musician, and an athlete. This passionate drive propelled him into being the only child to play a key role in a grown-up theatrical production, into learning bass guitar-playing just to enhance a gospel rock performance, into a stellar debut playing center in his High School varsity basketball team, and even into holding multiple bible quiz championship titles at church competitions.
The birthing, nurturing, and tempering of Wesley John’s passionate thirst and hunger shaped a gravitational force of titanic proportions in his life. Academically he finished at the top of his class in the elementary, secondary, and collegiate levels; as well as in his training at the dramatic arts. He could sing and play guitar-piano-bass-drums. He composed and wrote songs and instrumentals (recording a CD of original music). His art portfolios covered various forms of art from pencil to photography and graphic design. He became a proficient practitioner of the martial arts. He wrote original scripts, creative storylines, and various literary pieces. He transformed his physique from a skinny and lanky adolescent to a body-builder-muscled young adult (without the use of steroids). And he finished his body masterpiece with the most impressive body art: a crimson-inked expansive serpent tattoo with deeply symbolic dragon heads. He played beach and indoor volleyball, played table tennis (becoming a master chopper), and played basketball (perfecting his hook shots and of course his dunks). To entertain the women - he learned various dance forms from hip hop to salsa, making sushi, and the art of effective dating and flirtation (even consulting with a dating coach). To land his first major movie appearance (Scorpion King)- he added horseback riding and archery to his acquired skills. To extend his abilities towards portraying “the bad guy image” he became proficient with firearms and of course with Harley bikes. Wes had this insatiable drive as an actor that coupled with his dedication to hard work and persistence opened him to perfecting his craft and playing roles and parts on stage, commercials, television, and films. He was passionate with any performing art-form: from being the charismatic frontman of a blues band to starring in an independent film, television pilot, or YouTube/internet film.
Yet in the true spirit of an earth-bound Titan- Wesley John was also privy to the unsavory side of his inner passionate drives. As a child his eyesight regressed (from hours of drawing by candlelight) to the point that for the rest of his life he either needed glasses or contact lenses to see clearly. His obsessive compulsion to create and try new things and experiences not only made him prone to life-threatening incidents but also bred in him the impulse to push the boundaries of what was conventional in every aspect of life. His latest portfolio of exquisitely and finely mastered art sketches have such a grotesque and macabre character that it is not only visually stunning but also striking enough to give your kids nightmares or your grandparents a heart attack. He raised pythons as pets (feeding them rats both alive and dead). There was a time as an adolescent when he secretly experimented with excessive smoking (finishing an entire pack in one day and at one sitting). Wes regularly worked and partied at the annual Halloween bash in the Playboy mansion- the Mecca of the hedonistic lifestyle. When he was a 12-year old, after praying earnestly and fervently a prayer that went unanswered, he was heard bitterly weeping- “that was a total waste!” During his latter years Wes continued to actively explore and engage in other avenues of spirituality and philosophy: eastern mysticism, The Secret, Chopra, even agnosticism and atheism. In his darkest moments Wes had also gone through episodes of anxiety and nervous breakdowns. There were times when his passionate energies took him to the lowest places that in one of those low moments he blurted out "fuck my life!” (He just had an accident after a film shoot and totaled his truck).
But to relegate Wesley John to an existential angst is to overestimate his foibles and completely miss the point about the dark-sided energies of his passionate drive. For all his renegade antics and daring forays beyond the boundaries of acceptable and normative behavior- this Titan was firmly bound to the essential spirituality and values of his early life. Despite his active engagement in what was outside accepted moral, religious, and spiritual orthodoxy; Wes always returned to the Christian faith of his formative years; but always as one who was deeply and spiritually rooted yet transcendent of the Christian confines. This made him an authentic and passionate person of faith- able to intensify and raise the ambient energy of any social context at multiple levels. This was especially true in the religious and spiritual contexts. For years he led worship at his dad’s church, played and sang in his brother’s worship band, and performed in his cousin’s church music ministry. And in all these contexts he created a deep and lasting impression as one who had touched persons at soul-level. This was especially true with Wesley John’s family. From his parents, to his older brother and younger sister, to his uncles and aunts, to his cousins, but most especially to his nieces and nephews: his spiritually-rooted yet transcendent and authentic passion made him an indispensable elemental presence in the clan ecology. Having been a bachelor with no progeny - he doted on his nieces and nephews as a parent spoils his children. But most importantly he fathered in them a deep passion for life, self improvement, and fearless exploration. The family lore is littered with experiences of jam sessions, comedic and serious conversations, and memorable excursions with Uncle Wes. His brother tearfully reminisces jamming/singing together and communicating to each other in memorable movie lines (from Tombstone, Alien, Batman, and Lethal Weapon) through IM and Facebook.
This transparent authenticity made Wes vulnerable and genuinely human. But the vulnerability and humanity had a torrential undercurrent: his driving passion. That divine, unearthly, and passionate inner life force empowered him to be truly and honestly himself that there was no pretense, no hypocrisy, and no- acting. Perhaps this is the secret that made him a great actor-performer, a deeply spiritual person, and a true friend. This is what made Wesley John a Titan earth-bound. During his memorial, a young actor came up to his brother and privately confessed how Wes had literally saved him. He was at a desperately critical juncture in his life: terribly overweight, brutally self-hating, and morbidly suicidal. It was Wes and his friendship that pulled him out of the abyss. This actor lost his excessive weight, rediscovered his own life-passion, and got his life back on track. (He quietly left the memorial to go back on location shooting a major film.) This is the crux of Wesley John’s impact on the lives he touched and whose lives touched him. The depth and breadth of his human connection transcended, crossed over, and even violated- racial, class, status, sexual orientation, family, religion, moral, and spiritual lines. When one is in the company of the “real” deal, a life-changing experience happens. The fellow employees at his day-job (Enterprise Rent-A-Car) can attest to it. His fellow thespians and performers in the arts and entertainment community always relish it. And his friends in the Filipino community who shared his love for basketball (and all things Filipino) bear witness to it. They were the last to see him earth-bound (after a grueling but satisfying basketball workout) minutes before fate took over that November afternoon. It was a fitting conclusion to where he started his life journey.
How does one deal with the death of a Titan? Answer: the same way one deals with a Titan’s birth. Titans are immortal and larger than life. When Titans are born they become bound and chained to a temporal existence. They struggle- even suffer, to stretch, pull, push, and challenge the extent and limits of this constrictive plight. But in this life-process they reveal their true transcendent and resplendent nature. Wesley John became earth-bound in October 1968. But in his life journey, he revealed his brilliant nature and his genuinely transcendent character. That revelation has become our experience of blessing and fulfillment. Jesus was quoted as saying- “it is better for you that I leave because if I don’t leave, the Friend won’t come to you...” (John 16:7 The Message). Jesus seemed to be indicating that his death was inevitable in order for him to be truly present to “all” persons. His death was a release and a liberating act that allowed Him to be an unbounded presence in all of us. The Jedi knight Obi Wan Kenobi alluded to the same reality moments before his duel came to an end when he claimed- “if you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine...” (Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope). A Titan’s death is release and freedom from being bound by limits and constrictions. Wesley John’s untimely death in November 2017 was only untimely for us. He is a Titan. His passion was titanic and expansive; always struggling against and enduring the chains of his humanity. But in this struggle and endurance he tasted the finite joy and hope of being authentically himself, of being connected with humanity, and of becoming genuinely human. Wes was and is truly a gift to those who had the life-giving experience of knowing him and loving him. The accident that ended his human life also released his passion and gave him freedom from all limits. Wes has become purely transcendent and free. Shelley’s play about the freedom of Prometheus- probably the most notable Titan in Greek and Roman mythology spells out this titanic experience of breaking free. The play’s closing lines in its final act say-
“To suffer woes which Hope thinks infinite;
To forgive wrongs darker than death or night; To defy Power, which seems omnipotent; To love, and bear; To hope till Hope creates from its own wreck the thing it contemplates; Neither to change, nor falter, nor repent; This, like thy glory, Titan, is to be good, great and joyous, beautiful and free; This is alone Life, Joy, Empire, and Victory.”
-(Final lines of the play Prometheus Unbound by Percy Shelley)
The Hollywood talent agent and the agency that represented Wes, in a truly generous act, have dedicated a star (in the Pegasus constellation) as a tribute to him. And in his memory this star in the heavens now forever bears his name. An appropriate homage to the man who is now myth and legend. He is the transcendent presence, the ebullient passion, and the creative inspiration that now graces us deeper than he ever did before. Wesley John is now a Titan unbound!
Leo Hill (December 2017)
Postscript:
“Death swallowed by triumphant Life! Who got the last word oh Death? Oh, Death, who’s afraid of you now?”
-(1 Corinthians 15:55 The Message)
POSTED BY BOB M. WITH LEO HILL'S PERMISSION
